You are, by your writing, an intelligent adult. But I do not want a day when people wake up confused because women rights have been flushed down the toilets. Do you have any children? Im so glad you found the strength to leave your abusive marriage. Did you get support from friends and family after leaving him? . We have no set rules so to speak. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons [and daughters] of God. (Matthew 5:6,9 ESV). Im wondering what their thoughts were on it? Male rulership of women is common all over the world, because it is a result of sin entering humanity, just as God had predicted: God told the woman man would rule over her God was saying that was a result of the Fall. When I got in trouble, the threat of not letting my mom hit me with a wooden spoon was that my dad would belt me, and the threat of not letting my dad belt me was essentially unimaginable. However, since it would not be good to, myself, come across as as condescending, I will not do that. She knew her Bible inside out, she just keeps quoting the Old Testament over and over. Youre the one with issues and hang ups in regards to sexuality. However you are not free to force your religious views on others. Domestic Discipline But he is a wonderful, loving husband and father, a great provider and well, being in charge just suits him. It should be private. They like their wrists held, maybe, or even being tied to the bed. So, a wife divorcing her husband unless she was independently wealthy was quite possibly a death sentence. We continue to call it abuse, despite the fact that it happens between two consenting* adults, and we continue to prosecute those teachers who abuse their students. 2. 50 SHADES OF GREY AND PATRIARCHY: WHAT EXACTLY DID WE EXPECT? Is it Fair for A Fat Christian Man to Expect His Wife to RemainFit? For this purpose moderation and tolerance are key. But just like a chocolate addict will eat carob in moments of dire necessity. s Christian Domestic Discipline Marriage And no, the experiences, however bad, do not nullify the word of God. I had numerous discussions with people that wanted to begin or improve their Christian Domestic Discipline relationship. I dont know where the line is, but looking back now I think I can say that spanking even at 14 or 15 was not right and certainly not up to the age I was. You are telling 100pinkapples that she needs to take a Christian response to her abusers and to her own pain, and to see a pastor for counselling. Then, they sign this document in the presence of lawyers, and witnesses (friends and/or parents of the woman). Guest Post: A DD relationship, where the HoH gets spanked. Wife Spanking, Christian Domestic Discipline, Domestic Violence *** You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. The only time the word authority is used in conjunction of marriage in the New Testament is when the New Testament states that wives have authority over their husbands body. When women were welcomed, for the most part, into the workforce and had independent means of support, the divorce rate skyrocketed. These three core values are essential: Communication, Consent, & Compassion. My father and his loser ilk liked Christianity because no woman with any self respect would stay married to them once she got to know the real him, have sex with him, or have children with him. If it makes it hotter for them to mix in some faith? For instance, those who practice domestic discipline often cite scripture that calls for wives to submit to their husbands. Yup, just like the playground bully. If you get to the point were you are ready to prevent two contenting adults from living the way they choose, you are making a big disservice to any cause you pretend to serve. Christian Domestic Discipline / Spencer Respect and Submission in domestic discipline Respect and Submission are of particular importance in a marriage because the standard marriage vows for the bride always included the phrase to love, honor and obey her husband. Gen 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. This posthas been very difficult for me emotionally. [redacted] never told anyone at that time, and there is no photographic evidence of the bruises or any witnesses. Then stop discussing it here and promoting it. Thats it. Julie Anne asks, What does Er. mean? Its the soft and fading, though somewhat prolonged, sound of brain flatulence. campaign, Christian Domestic Discipline/Loving Wife Spanking in a Christian Marriage is not satire -- and I just can't get it out of my head. Men ruling over women was a result of the fall, of sin entering humanity it was never Gods intent. Im only part way through the rather long article, which was suggested by Lydia, but from what I have read so far, I can suggest that http://www.nacr.org/wordpress/160/the-f-word-forgiveness-and-its-imitations might be worth a look see. For keep in mind that you are in a very difficult position in that you are promoting an ideology which is against nature. As 100pinkapples said earlier, I am sure I have heard worse than whatever he comes up with. Many of us have heard worse. He was seeking my input when I offered that this was his decision to make and I would just have to deal with it, and that he should just do what he thinks is best. My mom told me that dad only punished her because he loved her, and that in a Christian family dad was in charge and no one can ever disobey him. How does a Christian man go about introducing Domestic Discipline into his marriage and what techniques actually work? [redacted] is originally from England and is unfamiliar with local laws and believed Jamin. I got support from friends and it was only when I opened up to them that they helped me see it was wrong. [redacted] said she has become numb to the abuse and did not feel scared, not like in the beginning. You cannot say you respect and love an adult when you treat them like a child and all these women who are letting their husbands hit them you cant love yourself. Let these people do their thing. Is that bad now too? But if some Christians decide a little S&M is good for them? Until I moved out, both her and my father spanked me, although he did most of it. In other words, they basically say, you may be in pain, and you may have been wronged, but F___ you. Change). You can get in my face and scream it, and it still wont be a proof. I am the only one who has had the honesty actually to quote passages of scripture. If you are really interested in having an informed opinion, a good starting point would be to search getting started with domestic discipline on the internet. Pat Robertson is another known figure in Christiandom who has said some shocking statements about how husbands should treat wives. Because people are increasingly dissatisfied by the standard domestic arrangements proposed by social scientists are looking for alternative arrangements more in line with human nature. Yes, guys, best leave 100PinkApples raging away because it suits your purpose better to have her stay unforgiving and bitter. Its not just me that talks about your husband having authority, Julie Anne. Have you read Marys song, known as the Magnificat? Discipline spanking on the bottom is NOT abuse, its called just that, discipline. Do not strike faces or heads You may be at war with Domestic Violence, and this is an honorable fight. Thats a rule for ancient Israel, for young women still living at home with their fathers. Carrie, what conclusion did Pat Robertson come up with to help this husband? Did you tell him why you were leaving? Me. As a little girl my biggest dream was to have the right to say NO to sex, NO to men. It contains articles on spanking in marriage, as well as advice on leading the home. Many of the verses youve quoted to support your position can be interpreted in more than one way. Please remember blog rules. If kink is your thing, thats your thing, but dont sit there and try to convince me or anyone else you got kink from the Bible because you sure as heck did not. However be prepared because I do no think this movement is going anywhere. Ben is a very strict HOH, and I love him very much because of it. A friend of mine from work saw how down I was. Please go and speak to a pastor in a completely different church from the one they were in (I should recommend a sister in a Pentecostal church, but thats just my personal suggestion) and I know you will get more than a sympathetic ear. However, the husbands are commanded to love us.Bottom linemen would rather be respected than loved. are not healthy in a relationship. As believers, we arent allowed to dictate to people outside the faith how they should live their lives, or deal with their suffering. We had many problems. Sis has been married 3 times already, and bro is still married, but is miserable as his wife treats him the same as mom treats dad. So husbands are not unilaterally to refuse conjugal relations to the wives, nor vice versa. I know some of each do as a weapon. This is how people get confused when Trump is elected. Any marriage in which one partner is exerting control over the other IMHO is wrong. Resistance During a Spanking Does anyone have advice? Anonymous, christianddgroup.typepad.com, 13. My suggestion that the word forgiveness gets employed as an F word equivalent is not original to me. It seems that site is promoting equal rights for women. Christian Domestic Discipline Gen 3:16 Unto the woman he said, thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. I offer personal advice and mentorship in marriage to men or women who contact me. Please be careful if you are easily triggered by topics of abuse. I know I am a question box but I also know that what you experienced is going on in homes around the country and people just like you are labeling it as normal just because of what you described because parents are taught that its ok to spank children even through adulthood as long as they are under the fathers roof. If you are truly interested in learning more about that folly, there are plenty of websites and blogs and practicers on the internet. I dont think I have the right to question how my husband corrects me. I really think this is biblical. Satan only quoted scripture in the Temptations once, when he ran out of patience, because our gracious Lord was quoting scripture to him every single time, from the book of Deuteronomy. As time went on, Ben became stricter and stricter with me, and my maintenance spankings have decreased from once a day, which lasted for over 6 months, to the now twice a week, Wednesday evening before our prayer meeting, and Sunday evening before Sunday bible study. Your position is unbiblical. We need to consider the importance of thecorrelation ofspanking of children through adulthoodand also the transfer of headshipfrom father to new husband when a young lady gets married. Christian Domestic Discipline (Wife Spanking I told Jamin I saw marks on [redacted] neck and they appeared to have been caused by the end of fingers, possibly nails. Sorry, have not read anything here yet! It was just always his open hand on my bottom which made me feel like I could never tell someone else or explain it. In the beginning I would test him all the time to see if he was serious. What kinds of reactions can he expect from his wife as he introduces this into his marriage and how should he respond to his wifes reactions? Finally, Daisy be more Christ-like; keep your nose out of my bedroom. And they have no right to it. @Mark You are convinced that a woman can only be tricked into that kind of relationship, and you have decided to be quite closed minded with this regard to the extent that you think that people who think otherwise are sick. . Men who push the defend women because women are little delicate flowers view rarely to never actually defend women. Send in your testimonials! . In the case you need to discipline your wife while on a voyage, you know you can do so without attracting attention. Was your church part of a particular denomination? Change). No woman is squelched by wanting her man to take up his God-given authority and actually lead. Thanks to a suggestion and my loving HOHs (head of households) permission it was a test spank. [redacted] said Jamin is very controlling. . As a sexually abused little girl growing up in misogynistic Christianity I always felt like god was my pimp. couples are a mess, for all the talk women abuse is nowhere close to being fixed but now masculinity is also in a crisis. . Anyway. I was in such a relationship for a while. For your prescription is to amputate all arms because some hands could possibly get infected at some point in the future. Ben at first thought I was joking, but when I took him to the scripture and showed him, and had my pastor sit him down and teach him about CDD, he saw the light, reluctantly, and agreed to be the HOH of our home. You are interpreting the Scriptures in error, just as the Pharisees did. But God does miracles and he can deal with your pain, as bad as it is. I wished people like you existed since the beginning of times so the world would be a much better place even though apart from labelling people victims and abusers, your general philosophies do not do much to help relationships work as is evidenced by the disfunctional state of marriages today that have become a mess just at the same period your ideological ideals started to become turned into laws. Im not a 15 year old kid still living under my fathers and mothers authority. A Husbands Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline. I had another thought about thetransfer of headship in marriage. Thats my responsibility as a believer and as a thinking adult. Regarding Barak and Deborah: [redacted] did not report the incident right away because she was afraid of retaliation and did not know what to do. (Daisy, it is my hope and prayer, by the way, that in the cases I disagree with you, I do so without being disagreeableblessings to you, and my apologies for when I fail in this). States have laws restricting consent to marry a person who is already married. Cooler heads prevail and your words are so helpful, not just for A Lone Voice, but to anyone else who may stumble across this old thread. Soooo he is a modern psychologist? On the other hand the very fact that you would use these laws as precedents legitimizing the outlawing of something as personal and initimate as domestic discipline proves on its own that these laws are problematic. It seems that both of these components make it much more likely for a woman to be the victim of domestic violence/wife spanking. Example please? Oh boy, here we go. My husband and I would be considered rather boring by most people. Oh, stop the press! campaign, Christian Domestic Discipline/Loving Wife Spanking in a Christian Marriage is not satire -- and I just can't get it out of my head. You imply that by talking about husbands with authority. My name is Susie and my husband and I thought I should share with you what it is like for us to be involved in a Christian Domestic Discipline relationship. Are you officially divorced now?
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